Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Your programs can never be found again
Ronald Reagan Virus - saves your data, but forgets where it's stored
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
Politically Correct Virus - Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism"
Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer
PBS Virus - Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
Congressional Virus - The computer locks up, and the screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard, or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive
Paul Revere Virus - Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
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