Quotes

Man! An amazing creature!

He sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to get back his health. He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present with the result that he neither enjoys the present nor the future.

He lives as though he is never going to die and then dies having never lived!

- Dalai Lama

If the moon, in the act of completing its eternal ways around the earth, were gifted with self-consciousness it would feel thoroughly convinced that it was travelling its way of its own accord. So would a Being, endowed with higher insight and more perfect intelligence watching man and his doings smile about Man's illusion that he was acting according to his own free will.
- Albert Einstein

Musing

Have you ever looked at the back of a handmade tapestry or a fine piece of needlework? When you look at the wrong side, with its knots and clumps of color and bits of thread running hither and yon, you have no idea that you are holding a work of art in your hands. But turn it over and you see the design. Perhaps our lives are like that. Living them is like looking at the wrong side of the cloth. But from above they weave together in a glorious tapestry of relationships, joys, struggles, achievements and hopes.

A few parables

Parable 1

A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another.

In the same way the need of society drives the human porcupines together, only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told in the English phrase to keep their distance. By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied; but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.

Parable 2

A wide-spreading apple-tree stood in full bloom and behind it a straight fir raised its dark and tapering head. Look at the thousands of gay blossoms which cover me everywhere, said the apple-tree; what have you to show in comparison? Dark-green needles! That is true, replied the fir, but when winter comes, you will be bared of your glory; and I shall be as I am now.

Parable 3

IN a field of ripening corn I came to a place which had been trampled down by some ruthless foot; and as I glanced amongst the countless stalks, every one of them alike, standing there so erect and bearing the full weight of the ear, I saw a multitude of different flowers, red and blue and violet. How pretty they looked as they grew there so naturally with their little foliage!

But, thought I, they are quite useless; they bear no fruit; they are mere Weeds, suffered to remain only because there is no getting rid of them. And yet, but for

these flowers, there would be nothing to charm the eye in that wilderness of stalks.

They are emblematic of poetry and art, which, in civic life - so severe, but still useful and not without its fruit- play the same part as flowers in the corn.

Kaun Banega "CHOR-pati".........Nice one

When will the con stop???????

-Subject: Kaun Banega "CHOR-pati".........Nice one

We all know KBC is Good Business. But have you ever pondered... How Good....???? Any guesses? Let's see... Airtel is charging Rs.6/- per SMS sent for this contest. Assuming there are only 100 entries from say 10 cities of some 20 districts and 20 states... 6(Rs/SMS) x 100(entries) x 10(cities) x 20(districts) x 20(states) = 6 x 100 x 10 x 20 x 20 = Rs.24,00,000 24 lakhs in 20 minutes. (People trying for the 2 lakhs cash prize) Imagine what if 1000 entries try out from 100 cities? The figure simply grows by 2 more zeroes and yields a whopping 24 Crores!!!! And it does not stop there... In practice it could be another multiple of 100 or a multiple of 1000 on an average. In that case it is 24 x 100crores earnings in just 20 minutes on every episode!!! And the prize money: A mere 2 crore.. (and from whose pocket?) Smart Business By Siddharth Basu! And the best part of this calculation is just the SMS earning!! What about the Ad money? A rough annual profit calculation goes like this: 2400 x 5 x 4) (episode/month) = 60000 crores. Let even 50% get dissolved in taxes and other payments, still you will be left with (which includes even the meagre 480 crores of prize money i.e.if every episode bags 2 crore prize)! 30000-crores profit !!! (only from SMS) Simple Question: "KAUN BANEGA CROREPATI" and your options are--- A) SONY TV B) AIRTEL C) AMITABH BACHAN D) SIDDHARTH BASU Computerji iska jawab bataiye.... Ans: All FOUR..!!!! PS: Now you know why AB gets all emotional when the episodes end...........

Five Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out..
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone..

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina-Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All
of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..


Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Send this to at least five bright, funny people you know and make their day!

--

"Here is the test to find whether your

mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive,

it isn't."

Ingenious Way to Stimulate Supermarket Sales!

Sense of Freshness enhanced....

Last month a Hi-Tech new supermarket opened in Topeka , Kansas:

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal-grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh-baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

Don't be serious, be sincere

Don't be serious, be sincere

~ by Chetan Bhagat

Don’t just have career or academic goals, set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up ?

It’s ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, enjoy with your friends, fall in love, little fights with your loved Ones. We are people, not programmed devices